avoid dangers of jumping into 50 shades of bondage and submission

Surely people will do some research and look online for information about any 50 shades branded stuff, and hopefully avoid any cheap or dangerous items if they are serious about having some real (and safe) domination in their own bedrooms. 50-Shades-of-Grey-CoverI was glad to see that the article from SFGate mentioned that the type of rope Mr Grey orders in the book may not be the best choice for those who are looking to get into to some bondage play. Not sure I would take the advice given by the hardware store manager either though.

Hopefully mature people reading this book will realize that as exciting as the fantasy world is where everything is perfect and nothing goes wrong, in the real world there are plenty of things that will be different. It would be prudent for anyone considering getting into some bondage or domination or sadism or masochism first do some more research. There are plenty of wrong ways to get into BDSM, rushing to the hardware store and buying the wrong rope is only one aspect to the problems that can arise from from rushing into B&D or D&S or S&M. At the very minimum, get a copy and read SM 101: A Realistic Introduction before buying any new toys or jumping into some action with a lover who may not know exactly what you have in mind and may take things differently, or a different direction that you had imagined while reading the pleasures that the main characters in 50 shades enjoyed. S&M 101

Please keep it safe, sane, and consensual out there. If you are really serious about getting into the BDSM scene – find out more about the NLA and then NCSF. Don’t ever assume because something is awesome in a book, story, or movie that in real life that things will be that perfect. Real life has all kinds of shit that can happen – and you should be prepared for these things that can and do happen. That doesn’t happen by reading one fantasy novel – even the lightest of bondage and domination needs to take some serious precautions, and communication with your partner about a flurry of dos and don’s BEFORE the rope comes out is crucial.

  • Playing with rope? Do you have trauma shears (rounded tipped scissors) on hand?
  • Do you know the signs of blood loss to the extremities?
  • Do you know how to communicate with your partner about what is okay and what is not okay in words that are easily understood, yet still work with the mood / theme you are trying to attain?
  • Is there a predetermined safe word to make it all stop and everything come off?
  • Do you have an interview sheet where the two of you go over some things and come to agreements about what you are each looking for and expecting from the other?
  • What about cell phone pics? (best not think of that AFTER you are blindfolded)

These are just a few of the things that need to be considered.

The first time my lover brought rope to a night at a hotel, the whole thing went very wrong from the start. After that it got worse because we each had all of these expectations about the encounter, and not until the rope did not work right did we discover this. Learn from others mistakes – read the S&m 101 before you decide to play with things that could cause you to lose your hands, or end up with an dangerous, or even just embarrassing situation that ruins a relationship due to lack of communication.

My current GF brought me a cosmo recently that had an article about something like 50 ways to add some 50 shades BDSM into your current relationship. I was flabbergasted by the stupidity of that article. I read each and every thing that was listed for ways for a women to dominate or be sadistic to her man, and the list of ways she could allow him to dominate or engage in her masochistic desires. Some of the things in that cosmo article were just not for me, scratches the guy’s nipples rough like an animal during sex (or something like that), it may be something that another man is into – it’s just not my thing. Other things in the article were just plain dangerous in my opinion.

Some of the things suggested by this article in cosmo, and perhaps in the 50 shades books actually have many other aspects of danger that is often overlooked. You might not think about how dangerous those handcuffs are until you have worn them for a little too long (perhaps enjoying the carnal pleasures you were looking for) – and then find that they were not only put on a bit too tight, but backwards, and getting the key to work with the double locking system is not going well. You did get the best cuffs on the market right? They are the hardest to get unlocked, (especially with all the lube and sweat) – and they are not going to be cut off quickly either. Even if you have a hacksaw handy – do you have enough to time for all that while your hands are already turning purple?

Some of these things are simple, and there are easy fixes and precautions if you take some advice from others before jumping into the BDSM world. Some things are plenty more tricky, and have more serious consequences than an embarrassing call to 911 about a lost handcuff key, or not knowing how to unlock those double lock premium cuffs. Some things in the BDSM can not just embarrass, but mame or kill. Decided that ball gag looked like the perfect accessory to go with those cuffs and collars? I hope you have read up on the proper precautions for playing with a gag ball, serious injury could be around the corner, and accidental death has occurred with experienced people who should know better. So make sure you know better before bringing home some new tools and handing them to your lover.

There is much more I could write about all this, and perhaps I will add some more articles along this line. I don’t want to overwhelm anyone knew to the wonderful world of BDSM – just make sure you are prepared – get the SnM 101 book – read that and a few others. You might even be lucky enough to have some classes in your city with other lifestyle groups. When it comes to your physical and emotional safety, a few ounces of prevention may be worth many more pounds of cures.

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