Of course I am sure there are plenty of people who prefer her new BBW look, even if Chelsea and many others have made fun of her over wearing bodysuits in so many appearances. Certainly there are plenty of guys that really like women who have much more meat on their bones. I myself preferred the thinner Christina, I have always thought she was one of the hottest singers to ever make a music video. OF course Christina is not just sexy, she has an absolutely incredible voice. Her music rocks, and seeing her in Burlesque made me realize just how amazing this woman’s voice is. Whatever reasons she has for putting on so much weight the past year or so, it doesn’t matter to me. I will always be behind Christina as an excellence singer and entertainer.

Reading that article at Access Hollywood, it says that Chelsea stripped down to very little on the show in a way to apologize to Christina for making fun of her. I am not sure what they mean “down to very little” – as I did not see that show, and currently not seeing anything about it in google images search, or you tube. I would enjoy seeing Chelsea stripping down as well – she is pretty hot too. It would be cool if Christina was singing her stripped song or her Dirty song while that was going on, but I doubt that was the case.

I also noticed another article featured on the access Hollywood site that had some interview where Christina was discussing her nude album cover for her latest album “Lotus”. I had heard something about that a while back, but knowing that anything on a op album, nude or not, is only going to be but so sexual or arousing, So I never looked it up, as much as I enjoy how beautiful she is, I did not want to get excited about seeing her naked only to find the image and become disappointed. So today I did do an image search to see just why they are using it to make headlines, and found the album cover that says she is nude on it. Well you can’t see anything at all, not even the curve on an under breast. It’s just hips and hair, and art.

She had much sexier nude pictures in GQ magazine back in June 2006. Of course her images in the magazine are not going to create protests at record stores and prevent parents from buying the album. If she was that alluring on the album itself it might hurt sales, so I understand.

While researching this article, I did find that Christina has done a recent nude and sexy video – well it’s kind of nude – you still don’t see that much, but it’s certainly sexier and more alluring that her album cover. She did a video ad for her perfume Red Sin or something like that. Found the video (which is embedded from you tube currently) at the insider.

Unfortunately the days of the petite, super hot girl that starred in music videos such as Dirrty and Genie in a bottle may be only in the past. Either way, I will still dig her music, and I don’t watch music videos much these days anyhow, so Christina will always be on my list of top performers.

I hope to see at least part of the Chelsea / Christina interview, or at least an audio clip from it one of these days. IT was reported that Christina told Chelsea she looked hot when stripped own, and that it was empowering to be wearing next to nothing, and she supposedly said the words “pussy power” – I’d like to hear that coming from her lips. Maybe she could do a song about that, a kind of duet thing with lords of acid – well one can always dream right?

Censored Hustler Tshirt Pic found at eModa.com

From what I do know, Hustler magazine is not just a mag full of naughty pictures. Well at least the 200 or so issues I have read certainly had lots of stories and text, and not nearly enough naughty pics – but more research may be needed! I have actually seen several really good and sometimes breaking news and newsworthy commentary come from many Hustler magazines. I have found some very profound books by reading some of the interviews, and I can honestly say that several of the issues I have purchased were more about trying to get some non-mainstream corporate sponsored news and opinions. Some months Larry Flynt has some really interesting things to say in his editorials, and sometimes they have interviews and reviews of subjects that you just don’t find on the front page of yahoo news, or on your local news at 10. Of course there are some months were the news is not overly interesting – but that’s the world we live in. At least you can count on there being some interesting art and humor in the mix as well.

The article I initially read about this fair use thing said that the news girl was photographed doing a wet t-shirt contest. She says that she was photographed without her knowledge – I am not quite sure what she means by that – the photo and wet t-shirt contest was in March of 2003. Cell phone cameras and the exploitation of women baring their breasts for male attention had been exploited and exposed for some time via girls gone wild and cell phone camera were pretty prevalent in that day weren’t they? Perhaps someone who lived in the mountains of Tibet may not expect to be photographed, but someone who is a news anchor – well, I am not saying it’s not true, I just find it surprising to say, unless she was inferring that she was so drunk that she didn’t know she was in a public place when pushing her tits into the spotlight.

That’s not really the issue at the moment in this case, at the moment my real surprise is that the use of these images as a news worthy item, the fair use thing. It seems that a jury said no, and a few judges in an appeals court upheld this. They awarded the woman with $100,000 + award for the use of her images. Now it does say that after this girl found her pics online, she found the photographer, bought the rights tot he pictures, and then took the time to register them with the US copyright office – good move. So maybe the jury and judges were considering that extra copyright protection she had added to her pics, and looked at that. However, let’s say this was a breaking news story – like some politician had some pics in a wet t shirt contest, and she had done the same; purchased the rights and copyrighted them. Would a news station or news paper, or news magazine have to ask permission and license / pay rights to the politician before they could publish the story? I don’t think that should be the case, and if it was the case, then paparazzi could make more money by selling rights to bad photos right to the celebs and politicians rather than releasing them as news items.

It’s really too bad that this woman did not want her photos published. Some would say she should now have gotten on a stage and showed her breasts through a wet shirt if that’s the case – and unfortunately in this day and age that is kind of true and a lesson that many college aged men and women have learned from others’ mistakes – which makes many spring break parties these days much more tame than they used to be. (Where is that news story I read a while back? Maybe I’ll add it later)

I think women (and men too) should have no camera / cell phone spaces where they can feel free to dance, yell, sing, or do whatever they want to express themselves, get out some fun, relieve some stress, and not have to worry about pictures or videos showing up around the world of this. With just about everyone having a cell phone cameras, or other recording devices in their pockets 24/7 and all the “security” cameras popping up everyone, it would seem that these “recording device free zones” will be super premium space in the future. More on that later in another post.

I think it would of been reasonable for their news girl to have contacted Hustler and said hey, we see you are running a story with our pics, but I had them copyrighted and it’s not fair for you to use them in such a such way, so how about we work something out. Now I know it may be impossible to think in this way if it happened to you, and all the sudden you thought about the reputation would have with your tits being in Hustler magazine – but let’s see the reality. In reality as of this moment the jury awarded this woman $135,000 plus some ridiculous lawyer fees.

Now if I was Hustler, I am not sure I would of agreed to give this girl $100,000 for some wet t-shirt photos. Maybe they could of worked something out with additional pics, and interview, and cover photo or something and came up with some numbers that would work around that, I dunno. I do know that if that route had somehow been worked out, then maybe a payment could of been made, and then these people would not have spent so much on lawyers fees, court costs, and then dealing with all the PR and news stories – now if all the parties involved could take all that out of the equation, then maybe a smaller amount would make sense for everyone – it would be basically forgotten, and all is well. Maybe not – it’s just a thought I am having right now.

It could be the principal of the matter for each of the parties. It could be the principal of LFP and their desire to be taken seriously as a news publication and given the same publishing and fair use rights that other news outlets enjoy, and so no settlement would of worked for them. IT could of been a principal thing for the new woman who wanted to fight it publicly and make a stand whether she won or not. I really don’t know. Anytime someone gets on these principals thing you can pretty throw out logic and take it to the courts and let the lawyers argue, in which case usually both parties lose. One way or another both parties are losing, sure one may win this round, and another may be able to say they will win the next – regardless of who wins in the end, both are having to spend time and money fighting it – and that especially sucks considering this is coming from someone who makes a living from news publishing, suing another publisher for publishing photos taken at a public event.

If these pictures were published in one of the sub-magazines of playboy, I could see the issue being more real – like some of the sub mags from playboy I have seen where they have a bunch of pictures of girls in lingerie, or the girls of home depot (is that what that was called?) – or playboy’s amateur casting – you know, any of those mags that are full of pics and have little to no text, then that might be different. The main playboy magazine has plenty of news, and art, and other stuff, so if one of these main magazines include a news worthy article with some pics, then it is what it is.

As I mentioned earlier, I have not seen the Feb 2006 issue of this Hustler, but I would like to get my hands on it. I tried to find it online, and the first few google results did not show any place that had it in stock. From what one site showed as the cover photo from the issue, I did not see this news woman’s photo on the cover, and I did not see anything on the cover that says “international news anchor superstar shows her tits – her pics inside” – so to think that hustler was accused of using this girl’s images to sell magazine and to profit – well.. let’s see here..

If it was a scandal, like the first lady nude, and it was blazed on the cover, then that would perhaps be being used to sell the magazine. If they are saying that hustler having some news stories inside that are controversial and racy, and that is what is used to sell the magazine, and since this woman was part of one of these news stories she should be compensated – well then they are admitting that Hustler provides news every month, and just like newsweek, they use news to sell a news publication.

Something else I though odd… one of the thing Judge Eric Clay wrote as published by law.com -

Furthermore, considering the amount of the copyrighted work used, LFP “published the entire photograph at issue less minor cropping of the background,” Clay wrote. Additionally, the publication of the photograph directly competed for a share of the market for it.

So does this mean that the amount of money being awarded was based upon the intention of this woman to market her titty pics for profit? I mean if she was trying to sell the pics, and not yet struck a deal, then I could see taking this into consideration – but if she was basically holding the rights to keep them from popping up in commercials for girls gone wild, or college party phone sex ads, or ads for the bar downtown – then the photos published as part of a story in Hustler we not really competing in any market.

Didn’t something like this come up with Perez Hilton with the Britney Spears pussy pictures the paparazzi tried to control or something?

I think there are some important things to be figured out with this case, and the ramifications could be affecting the way the paparazzi do business, the way the enquirer and other publications run stories. The possible censorship and use of copyright threats to stop important stories. This could also create a kind of blackmail market for rights holders of pics – not that there kind of isn’t already I guess.

Anyhow, I am not a lawyer. I do not have all the facts of this case, and I am not sure that the limited information I have gathered is accurate in any way shape or form. This is just some random thoughts at 2am. In the spirit of full disclosure, we do run some affiliate promos with Hustler on some of our sites sometimes, we have also affiliated with Playboy, and Penthouse too for that matter. I think there was a time when we did some promotions for girls gone wild, and perhaps other things mentioned in this post – or competition to things mentioned in this post. So some people will say ignore what is being said here as it is tainted in some way.

I do think it’s a shame that this woman could not have a fun night out at an adult establishment without worrying about it coming back later to haunt her in some way.

I wish we could go back to the days before camera phones, digital cameras, and security footage all around us. What a wonderful world it was when we could have fun as adults and let loos without worrying that every misstep we could make would be recorded and republished by multiple sources in multiple places. Even in places where cameras are prohibited, like strip clubs, you can’t be 100% sure that some asshole is not in there somewhere taking pictures or video of you. Even places that jam cell phone signals do not render useless the camera ability from taking your image either.

I suppose people 30 and older will one day realize how liberating it was to be able to have fun in adult places without having to worry about all this. Anyone 30 or under probably has no idea what that would be like. What kind of a world would it be without smart phones? HA! Convenience vs Security vs Privacy… Sanity vs False sense of security is what I think.

The article via SFGate describes sales and interest increases from hardware stores selling more rope to adult stores selling more vibrators. It seems that this book series with a BDSM / fetish theme has really taken off in more ways than just digital book sales (although it did just breach the 1 million digital copy sales mark at Amazon recently) [ Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy]- it appears that there is a 50 shades CD on the way, and all kinds of more mainstream companies are trying to cash in on the craze. There are even people talking about 50 shades of kitchen design themes.

Aside from those who are trying to make a quick buck by re-branding black granite counter top with white cabinets and stainless steel appliances, there may be some real good that comes from all this hype. I have not actually seen any of the adult toys that are being branded with the 50 shades official brand yet – but I hope that they are top quality, especially if they are bondage related. It drives me crazy to see some sex toy company take the cheapest made plastic crap from China, get a celebrity endorsement, plaster a name on it and try to sell it as “the Ron Jeremy approved penis pump”.

One of the good things of having this book become so popular will be that mature discussions and more communication will certainly come into many relationships. Current and future relationships will benefit from more open discussions about the themes that are prominent in the 50 shades of grey books. It may be that there are many people who have had a strong interest in some aspects of BDSM play, and others that find their calling of living the true 24/7 lifestyle as some call it. At least having a mainstream book and some characters and situations to talk about will give people some points of reference to talk with their partners about things they may be interested in, or willing to learn more about / try. It could become a major change in their overall relationship, or it could bring about the discussion of adding a couple of things to spice up the occasional freaky Friday night.

I think overall it’s a great thing when things are brought into the mainstream discussion. Maybe it won’t be so taboo for adults to have and openly discuss sex toys and bondage cuffs in their bedrooms. Of course there are plenty of bad things that can occur when the masses decide they want to start playing with some of the dangerous aspects of BDSM – both physically and emotionally even. This is why I must suggest that you read more.

Also read: avoid dangers of jumping into 50 shades of bondage and submission

It’s not an all encompassing encyclopedia of every thing that a women can do better in bed, yahoo only allows a few minutes for each of these clips they release each week, but it’s some good things that women should discuss more.  Of the things mentioned in this little video clip, there are two that really stand out in my mind. Of course the others are good things to consider, and there are many more things that could be brought up to help women who sabotage their partner pleasing them – but here are some good ones to focus on for sure.

thinking guys are always ready – One girl where hearing this actually says something like “If he’s not ready the minute she wants him to be it turns her off.”

It is mentioned in the video that younger guys tend to be hard and horny pretty much 24/7 and they might be ready at any moment the woman wants to get some dick – and as to where that may be generally true, it’s not always true. Sure there is something about physical things with younger men as compared to older men – but there are psychological things that more mature men are having to contend with that most 18 year old guys are not having to deal with as well.

I am sure anyone watching TV the past year has seen commercials about the amount of testosterone that men at age 40 produce compared to men at 18 years old – so sure there are some physical things with hormones to be considered. However just as important as that, more mature men have many other things on their mind – mental issues like worrying about bills, health issues, family, career problems, home repairs, politics – I could list hundreds of things the average 18 year old is probably not too stressed out about, and therefore is able to put sex at the forefront of his thinking.

Older men are more likely to have more emotional issues to contend with as well. Compare heart ache and disappointments in the lifetime of a 40 year old man with that of an 18 year old. Sure the 18 year may think the whole world has come to an end if he recently broke up with the “love of his life” – I do believe that older guys have had many more emotional issues to deal with and they tend to build up. Imagine Peggy Hill trying to get Hank Hill to give up as cock the same day the family dog dies – it’s a totally different emotional state for more mature men.

I think we also have to consider the amount of sex that the average 18 year old has had compared to the average 36 year old man as well. At 18, not only are your hormones raging, but the thought of a sexual experience has all kinds of possibilities attached to it. Even if you were a total slut up till 18, I think people still will have a lot of experimentation that they are very excited about possibly occurring with the next sexual encounter. Now for some men at 36 this could still be the case, but I think a majority of older men have either already experimented with all kinds of “freak things” – or they are with a partner where they do not have an expectation that there is the chance for some salad tossing, reverse blowjob foreplay before upside down, piledriver anal with gaping views with some ass to mouth dick cleaning leading up to some begging for an anal creampie.

Now certainly this is not the case in every relationship. Surely there are men out there that may be 40 year old virgins, and the possibility of sex will have them aroused before you can finish the sentence “you wanna fuck”.  I also imagine that there are some people in the world who are older and who still engage in some freaky porno like fuck sessions, even if they have been in a relationship for some years. I am just throwing a few things out there for women to consider when it comes to the thought process of “If he’s not ready the minute I want it, then I am turned off” – hey, guess what? Guys would love it for you to be ready and dripping wet the very minute that we decide we want to fuck – however for years it has been said that women deserve foreplay and warm up time, well what’s good for the goose may actually be good for the gander.

Guys should have a cock that is always ready, yet only used when the girl wants it. Like a robot cock dildo machine that is always warm, never needs batteries, and is owned by it’s sex master. Sounds like an invention of the future.

guys may need guidance – how your party works

One girl in this video slumber party jokes – “does a guy really need a GPS?”. Does she need to left him to turn left. Another girl mentions that she tried telling her guy what she wanted and got mad and basically accused her of trying to dominate him during sex.

Well a GPS for each woman’s favorite erogenous zones would be great! I’d love to see each girl create a GPS map and add it to her profile!

Seriously, each and every girl I have had carnal pleasure with is a little bit different. Basic anatomy is a little different with each woman, and where, when, and how hard or how soft, or which order she likes to feel sensation is a bit different as well. Not every girl has a playboy vulva, not every woman has the same sized clitoris, and they seem to need different amounts of pressure not just between different girls, but at different times. Not every woman I have been with wants the slow sensual, passionate, lovemaking that Cosmo and so many other pundits have been screaming for so many years either.

Some woman do enjoy slow and sensual sex, and some prefer hard and rough fucking. Some girls want to be grabbed and fucked hard while getting their hair pulled – but only sometimes. Some woman really get off on having nipples pinched or even clamped with various devices, and some are sensitive and prefer full boob massage and caressing. Some women want the slow caressing for a time, and then when they are ready for some anal then they want the nipples pinched. A little guidance now and then would go a long way when it comes to getting what you want in bed.

Now it doesn’t have to be a turn by turn GPS guidance, or a step by step how to written in lipstick on the mirror above the bed either. There are many ways to communicate what you want and when. Depending on your relationship status, it may be worth having some conversations outside the bedroom about the things you would enjoy more, however there are plenty of ways to guide your partner in the bedroom as well.

Can guys learn how you like to be touched from anatomy class, or porn, or their ex girlfriends?

I will get into some advanced techniques for couples in an upcoming book. For those who are in established long term relationships there are all kinds of before the clothes come off cues that can be given non-verbally about the type of sex you may be in the mood for. Subtle flirting or acting like a bad girl might tell your man that you are in the mood or some rough play. Lighting a candle and having some lingerie on may be your signal that you want to caressed and taken slowly.

For the woman who is concerned her giving directions will be taken the wrong way, think of more subtle ways or directing your man, and have some consideration about the male ego. You could say “eat my pussy” – and that may work and be fine with some people in some situations, however there are other ways of getting some cunnilingus without coming off as giving a direct, domineering order. Perhaps something like “Oh baby you are getting me so wet, will you taste me? I love it when your tongue slides between my lips.” Now that caters to the male ego, it doesn’t come off as telling him what to do and when, and it gives him a chance to consider if he will or will not at that moment.

Let’s say you’ve got your man going downtown but it frustrating, he’s not going exactly where you want him to go, and he;s going too fast or too slow or whatever. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes a man and woman are in synch, and he knows how to get you off, yet is teasing you – but for the most part when this situation arises, believe me, it is more frustrating for the man and than it is the woman. After a few minutes of using those tongue muscles, it becomes some serious work. We want to give you the ultimate pleasure, but without a guide, we are just going to be trying one way, then trying another, and hoping that we will get to the sweet spot in the jungle – unfortunately a little guidance would save both of you time and be more enjoyable in most circumstances.

Now there are really subtle ways to communicate about what is working for you, and sometimes more direct guidance is necessary. I suggest a woman use her ooohs and aaaahs as signals that he is in the right place. Use your mmmmmms for those times when it’s okay, but not great. When he switches to a better spot or adds the right pressure then get a little louder with your ooohs and aaaahs. Sometimes that all it takes to give the directions that are needed to get you off. Sometimes you need to be more direct, and using a combination approach is often just the right way to get is perfect.

If your man is going down on you and you want a finger inserted, ask for it. If your man is going too hard too soon for you, rather than say “You are doing it too hard” (which may hurt the ego and make the guy start thinking all kinds of things) – say “Oh baby softer, I am so sensitive right, go soft and easy”. When you are ready for him to change position but he is not getting your subtle cues, you can certainly move your hips a little and that may guide him to your sweet spot, and if that doesn’t work, most men will not mind you grabbing their head and pulling it up or pushing it down some. When you want it harder give him some encouragement first – something like “You are driving me wild, give to me a little harder”, or a little faster or whatever. I suggest always putting that “little” in the harder and faster; as it’s easy to get a direction of harder and just go full force which may set both of you up for failure on what you were trying to achieve. You can always ask several times for a little harder, it’s not so easy to go from soft to full on hardcore then ask to back down – and if you jump and push away after getting it harder – well that is confusing, because your asked for it! (That’s what a guy is thinking) – so ask for a little harder, a little faster, and you’ll get to where you want to go, without bruising an ego, and without commanding – you are asking.

I could write about this stuff for days – and probably will, but put it into a book. For now I hope these few examples give you some ideas how to re-word or re-work the way you ask for the kind of sex that you desire most. Guys really appreciate some help in this area, as there is no one class you can take that will teach you step by step how to please each and every woman. A guy that is use to a woman who likes things hard and fast may be a disappointment to a woman who prefers slow and sensual – if that’s all they have been trained for in the past, then it’s going to be time for some new learning. Most guys really enjoy an immense about of satisfaction knowing that their partner has had an orgasm (or multiple orgasms) – so it is truly our pleasure to give it to you that way you want it – and once you have given some guidance, the next time it will be easier for both of you.

Some groups are using this as a way to bash the porn business, and to add pressure to Los Angeles officials to require condoms being used in all porn shoots on the area. A majority of the commercial porn that is popular in the United States is filmed in the LA area, and some groups of people have even gotten a ballot initiative to be at the polls in November, asking the citizens of LA to vote in a law that mandates condom usage for performer’s protection. (see the story recently published by Reuters news on this syphilis and condom issue) As to where I think condoms can be used in some porn without an issue, I also see many issues with making it a requirement.

First off, what about husband and wife teams who only shoot with each other – should they be required to wear condoms when making an adults only video to share  with the public? Secondly, what about the lesbian sex videos? Should they be required to use dental dam? Thirdly, I think a majority of people in the world don’t care so much for watching condom mandated porn – and so it could possibly hurt sales for American entertainment companies, and put a bunch of people out of work, and we would see production moved to another state, or possible out of the United States entirely if consumers do not embrace the “All condom all the time porn from LA”.

Don’t get me wrong, I think condoms in porn can be done in a way that has it’s niches.  There could be several stories written where a condom being brought into the action would make sense in the fantasy and it could be used in a sexy way. I also think the thought of protection for performs is a good idea, but there are other things that can and are being done to help insure safety. I think that every performer should be given the option to use condoms, and that they should not lose a job because they request such a thing. I also think the individual performers should be able to request tests on the day of the shoot, and they ample time for an inspection of the other performers would be a good idea. These things would help prevent some issues that condoms do not protect from anyways.

I also get that there are people who think that porn performers wearing condoms might spur other people around the world who are watching porn to use condoms as well. That’s a great thought, and as to where I agree that some condom scenes could make using them sexy, not every fantasy movie is going to work with condoms and dental dam everywhere. I also think that condom usage might put it into people’s minds that using prophylactics will prevent you from transmitting any sexual disease – which is just not true. If you think someone watching a condomless gangbang is less apt to use a condom, then those same ignorant people may think that watching a 30 guy gangbang with condoms means that you could bang 30 people in one night and not have to worry about disease (or pregnancy) as long as you have 2 boxes of rubbers with you.

We certainly need more education about sex, and sexual diseases and health. I think we need more education about all things sexual in this country, but trying to get the porn industry to push some kind of Trojan agenda is not the best idea. It’s like saying that every war movie needs to show people putting in ear plugs, shooting glasses, and following all the other safety rules for using a firearm. These are movies, fantasy movies, not instructional videos.

I’ve got to say that the news of this Syphilis outbreak is a good thing for the industry, and the public as a whole. IT makes a lot of people think about the sexual diseases out there, and hopefully gets more of a dialogue going about preventing and hopefully curing / completing eliminating these diseases. The group of performers will certainly be talking about this one, and information about the general tests being a 90 day incubation test may spur some performers to discuss more with each other. It’s a good reminder that having sex with someone else who has sex with other people carries some risks with it – even if they have been recently tested.

Some people think that porn needs more regulation, but I must say I think (at least in this country) that the porn industry is doing a pretty good job of regulating itself, and discussing important issues like this. I wish college campuses across the country had the same kind of testing and open transparency – imagine if you could get an entire college to stop having sex for 10 days while people were treated. You could wipe out several STDs in huge sections of the country.

Of course I still think we need more discussions about STD such as Herpes and HPV – things rubbers do not do a good job of protecting against – and people need to talk about oral sex without rubbers as well. Just because a company like vivid made a lot of movies promising protected sex, does not mean that the cum shots and blowjobs without pink rubbers were not risking the transmission of all kinds of diseases anyway. Really they were more like anti-pregnancy videos not safe sex instructional series.

Hopefully mature people reading this book will realize that as exciting as the fantasy world is where everything is perfect and nothing goes wrong, in the real world there are plenty of things that will be different. It would be prudent for anyone considering getting into some bondage or domination or sadism or masochism first do some more research. There are plenty of wrong ways to get into BDSM, rushing to the hardware store and buying the wrong rope is only one aspect to the problems that can arise from from rushing into B&D or D&S or S&M. At the very minimum, get a copy and read SM 101: A Realistic Introduction before buying any new toys or jumping into some action with a lover who may not know exactly what you have in mind and may take things differently, or a different direction that you had imagined while reading the pleasures that the main characters in 50 shades enjoyed.

Please keep it safe, sane, and consensual out there. If you are really serious about getting into the BDSM scene – find out more about the NLA and then NCSF. Don’t ever assume because something is awesome in a book, story, or movie that in real life that things will be that perfect. Real life has all kinds of shit that can happen – and you should be prepared for these things that can and do happen. That doesn’t happen by reading one fantasy novel – even the lightest of bondage and domination needs to take some serious precautions, and communication with your partner about a flurry of dos and don’s BEFORE the rope comes out is crucial.

• Playing with rope? Do you have trauma shears (rounded tipped scissors) on hand?
• Do you know the signs of blood loss to the extremities?
• Do you know how to communicate with your partner about what is okay and what is not okay in words that are easily understood, yet still work with the mood / theme you are trying to attain?
• Is there a predetermined safe word to make it all stop and everything come off?
• Do you have an interview sheet where the two of you go over some things and come to agreements about what you are each looking for and expecting from the other?
• What about cell phone pics? (best not think of that AFTER you are blindfolded)

These are just a few of the things that need to be considered.

The first time my lover brought rope to a night at a hotel, the whole thing went very wrong from the start. After that it got worse because we each had all of these expectations about the encounter, and not until the rope did not work right did we discover this. Learn from others mistakes – read the S&m 101 before you decide to play with things that could cause you to lose your hands, or end up with an dangerous, or even just embarrassing situation that ruins a relationship due to lack of communication.

My current GF brought me a cosmo recently that had an article about something like 50 ways to add some 50 shades BDSM into your current relationship. I was flabbergasted by the stupidity of that article. I read each and every thing that was listed for ways for a women to dominate or be sadistic to her man, and the list of ways she could allow him to dominate or engage in her masochistic desires. Some of the things in that cosmo article were just not for me, scratches the guy’s nipples rough like an animal during sex (or something like that), it may be something that another man is into – it’s just not my thing. Other things in the article were just plain dangerous in my opinion.

Some of the things suggested by this article in cosmo, and perhaps in the 50 shades books actually have many other aspects of danger that is often overlooked. You might not think about how dangerous those handcuffs are until you have worn them for a little too long (perhaps enjoying the carnal pleasures you were looking for) – and then find that they were not only put on a bit too tight, but backwards, and getting the key to work with the double locking system is not going well. You did get the best cuffs on the market right? They are the hardest to get unlocked, (especially with all the lube and sweat) – and they are not going to be cut off quickly either. Even if you have a hacksaw handy – do you have enough to time for all that while your hands are already turning purple?

Some of these things are simple, and there are easy fixes and precautions if you take some advice from others before jumping into the BDSM world. Some things are plenty more tricky, and have more serious consequences than an embarrassing call to 911 about a lost handcuff key, or not knowing how to unlock those double lock premium cuffs. Some things in the BDSM can not just embarrass, but mame or kill. Decided that ball gag looked like the perfect accessory to go with those cuffs and collars? I hope you have read up on the proper precautions for playing with a gag ball, serious injury could be around the corner, and accidental death has occurred with experienced people who should know better. So make sure you know better before bringing home some new tools and handing them to your lover.

There is much more I could write about all this, and perhaps I will add some more articles along this line. I don’t want to overwhelm anyone knew to the wonderful world of BDSM – just make sure you are prepared – get the SnM 101 book – read that and a few others. You might even be lucky enough to have some classes in your city with other lifestyle groups. When it comes to your physical and emotional safety, a few ounces of prevention may be worth many more pounds of cures.

Hopefully the dances are dirtier than the kitchen. I also hope that people do not eat on the tip rail / pervert row, hopefully they only serve you food if you are several rows back, away from the stage. I can imagine that the smell of a top quality steak would make me want to order one – but then again it might make me hungry and just want to eat the next hot thing that came my way. Either way it’s good to know that I won’t have to plan two trips when going out next time I visit Tampa – just plan to hit up a couple clubs, get dinner and a show. I wonder if they are serving up hot desserts as well?

Sometimes progress is a simple choice, and at others times good ideas and good intentions turn out to be a total leap into a bad direction. Upgrade your system from windows 95 to windows 98 – simple, easy, good choice. Go from windows 98 to windows ME or windows vista? Probably not the best choices out there. Windows xp to windows 7 – many will say of course, but not it’s a sure thing depending on many factors for the individual person and or hardware and software setup.

Good idea to build a new damn? Those that want to will tout the benefits of cheaper electricity, recreation boating, fishing, energy security and more. Seeing things like that come up make it easy to read the story and throw your hands up to those people in control of these big projects probably know what is best, and in the end, how is it going to affect you anyways? Cheaper electricity? Shrug it off, go on to other stories that are so much more important you, like that facebook updates from your “friends” and their latest dining experience that includes pics to make their life look great. What about the other people affected downstream, the animals and environment? What about the people near the newly to be created lake that will be forced to relocate? What about the future maintenance costs and possible epic failures of the dam to be? That will most likely not be in the headline you saw on the paper, so do you bother to even think about it?

The city is forcing some local strip clubs to shut down or relocate, you probably have the same reaction – it doesn’t affect you personally, and you may secretly envy those that make money having fun and being sexy – so who cares. What you are not thinking about is that it does affect you, and those in your community. The people who want the property will tout the progress of new building and better property values, they will certainly pull some numbers about crime and complaints from neighbors of the local moral authority in the area, not many will stand up to talk about the other sides of the issue – and it gets let go. No one is talking to the single moms will find themselves trying to provide for their family at 2.13 an hour at the local restaurant instead of doing what they can to make a living. No one is going to be honest about the loss of tax revenue not just from the strip club, but also the change of tourist and convention patterns that go along with a diminishing adult entertainment scene.

New roads need to be built so that construction companies will get paid (by your gasoline tax dollars) and those companies can continue to donate some of your tax dollars to the politicians’ re-election campaigns, so the advertising companies can profit, and the cycle continues. The costs are put out there and the benefits to the local economy are touted – but no one talks about the additional runoff water issues, the chemicals in the environment, the future costs of maintenance, the mom and pop stores that will be closed in order to make way for the new progress. The many other issues you are probably not considering when reading about progress in your area.

Where did all this rant come from anyway? This week we had to make some upgrades to our web publishing system, and last month we had to upgrade the hardware and software that brings this wonderful site to the masses. Some of this progress was a simple choice, and some of it was kind of forced upon us by those that control the security enhancements along with other code updates. We waited as long as we could before doing this latest publishing upgrade, as we have witnessed other web sites have some problems with the latest upgrade. Our friends at sex chat dot com did the upgrade pretty quickly once the update was available, and that progress made some of the plug ins fail – which basically shut down their free chat rooms for all their users. Sure they got the latest and greatest update for the main site components, they were told it’s even more secure and full of new features, so jump on it.

They suffered one of the unforeseen and often untalked about side affects of progress. A failure of the most needed components, so their site stayed up to date and secure, but no one could use the main functionality of their site for more than a week and everyone scrambled to get the chat system to properly function with the main site publishing code. Anyone that has upgraded a computer or game system and then finds that their old software or games do not work with the newer upgraded system can have an idea of what that is like. So we waited, a bit longer than we usually do for this latest update.

During this update process, it appears that our old tried, true, and trusted favorite blog theme is not 100% compatible with the latest and greatest features of our blog publishing system. IT seemed to work, and we did not detect any issues, but being as though there are often unforeseen minor security issues with some older components, we decided to change to one of the newer blog themes just to be safe. Frequent readers of our blog may notice some minor changes, but we did try to keep the main sections of the blog section very similar to what we had the past so many years.

Changing to a new theme for some people is a quick and painless process. We actually had to spend quite a bit of time trying dozens of themes, customizing them, and then finding that one was not quite perfect, and then another had some small issues that we just could not stick with. So we went through several, and after hours of having some that were prettier than this one, but were too difficult to modify to our needs, we ended up going with a basic trusted old favorite that has been updated recently to keep up with the newest features.

Will we keep the current theme forever? Probably not. we may decide to customize this one to make some of the colors a little fancier – but we may switch to a fancier theme and customize a different from the ground up. This upgrade progress has certainly had many surprises – but we can only fight the progress to certain point, in which we need to prioritize and make the best of what we can, when we can. For now the choice of having the most secure web publishing system is winning out over keeping our old, simple platform and theme choice that many of us are use to. It has taken much more time, and the overall look is not our first choice, but we will continue to work on that and adapt to the changes.

For now we are more secure, and the most important aspects for our users and readers are being taken care of. The site functions with speed and security. We are able to share and discuss important topics, and we are always trying to make it better and better. We might need some more lipstick to highlight some of the features, and headlines here and there, but there comes a point when we need to consider the amount of time we would spend customizing this particular look, or writing new articles and spending the time and money to create cool pictures, videos, and more. If enough people think this current theme is too bland, and that we should focus on updating this one, we will – just let us know. If you think the overall look could use a complete shakeup and we can freely experiment with various looks and designs as long as we keep the stories and discussions flowing, then chime in on that as well – we could go for some totally out of the box looks to make it fancier. We just don’t want to shock any of regular users to seeing a totally different look without first alerting everyone to an upcoming redesign, and get some feedback from others on what we should focus on.

So what is important to you?

Fancy graphics, colors, videos, flashy effects?
More pictures?
Is the speed most important?
Something else?

Let us know in the comments!